Wormholes, Time Travel and the String Theory (not Lost)

To lend more useful faculties of myself to the duties I am paid for at work, I have decided audiobooks to be more fitting than real books (which demand every ounce of attention I can muster). Audiobooks are great, I think. I want to learn how to write more than anything in this world at the present moment. Also, I don’t like to read two fictional stories at one time (Harry Potter). And sure the rhythm and sound of words can help my ear, but at this time I feel that listening to some  non-fiction stuff would be more beneficial. So I did–and am. And this paragraph is a muddled explanation of why and what.

Yesterday I listened to Stephen Hawking’s addendum/revision to his seminal work A Brief History of Time (1988). The newer book is cleverly titled A Briefer History of Time (2005). Any review of either of these books will praise (or perhaps only mention) Hawking’s attempt to present the most pressing questions of physical science today in a succinct and understandable-to-the-layman manner. In fact, the preface of the more recent work explains that the aim of itself is to provide even more clarity, based on the response, than its predecessor. Thank God, right?

I don’t find it productive to speak on the marriage of science and religion, because in my experience, that’s a sort of thing that people’s words won’t change–unless there is some respect or something across the relationship of speaker and listener, maybe. So if you respect me, I find that every approach to religion, or more accurately to me “the spiritual”, must include everything we find in science. It’s a matter of truth on both sides. Science is merely observational, where the spiritual is experiential in an unscientific way. Well, I didn’t want to speak on it, but it happened.

One spotlighted truth I would like to mention is Einstein’s Theory of General Relativity; out of it comes this wonderful truth that I believe rests in harmony with my present view: because time moves at varying speeds in different spaces, every human lives by their own time. Simple, observational physics will teach you that two humans cannot exist in the same time-space, therefore we all have our own time. Sure, the difference is almost negligible to us because the difference in the speed of time is so slight, but there is still the truth. I don’t want to bring up any metaphor that may seem to add-to or segue into a spiritual thought from this because A) I’m sure you can do that on your own and B) I find it to be counterproductive.

This counterproductive quality is what I’ve given the most thought. My belief is that these scientific metaphors used to reflect spiritual truths are reprehensible. They aren’t metaphors but the truth. There is no division between science and the spiritual; that’s a manmade thing like the names we give these truths. Science singularly seeks a system of truths that will define our physical world. The spiritual does the same in our unseen world; only, most true seekers deny that a system of words will ever be able to define anything spiritual. The end to both, in our world of words, is a perfect mystery and mysteriously perfect.

The disgusting end of this is that scientists are still working toward more truth, where most religions have stopped seeking. They have their answers, to their minds. And all have these categorical mysteries that allow for the forfeiture of truth-seeking. To use my own, subscribed faith, we believe that God is in us (the amount of God in us differentiates, but that’s another discussion). Then we believe that Satan can give us thoughts in a way not unlike mind-control, but we deny this God in us to give understanding to these areas of mystery that we’ve conceded.

I agree that words cannot explain or induce final understanding of some mysteries, but I believe that truths can be found outside of words. With Jesus as my example, questions and true-seeking end fruitfully. Jesus always answered questions, and his answers were usually stories. And I’ve said it a million times, as those before me have also: story is the truest conduit of truth we have.

 

This is My Place, Where I Belong and Wish to Stay

“It’s uh known fact, Pheoby, you got tuh go there tuh know there.” – Their Eyes Were Watching God

“It was the longest trek Milkman had ever made in his life….Everybody kept changing right in front of him….If you surrendered to the air, you could ride it.” – Song of Solomon

“How can one discover truth I thought and that thought led me nowhere. No one would tell me the truth.” – Wide Sargasso Sea

A story can take a reader to a place. But if Janie’s telling of her story taught us anything, it is that the ear and eye must be attentive—and like Kumba showed, they must also be open. But what must the story do to initiate the reader into a place? That story must be honest about the place, presenting it truthfully. With an attentive, willing-to-change individual and an honest story, a new place comes, an elusive mind-space—a place we’ve learned to call “the bush.” Within may honest folk wrestle with the truth. Within may Kumba, with her beautifully wide eyes and mind, not pass judgment but rather seek understanding. Janie in Their Eyes Were Watching God and the nameless narrator of The Autobiography of an Ex-Colored Man exhibit story as a medium of truth, a harbor for the bush. With them, Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury demonstrates a powerful way to construct truth by perspective, the only real way. And the experiences of Milkman in Song of Solomon and the man in Wide Sargasso Sea stride in rhythm with Faulkner’s story to show the individual how he must approach the place in question.

Janie’s telling of her story in Their Eyes Were Watching God serves as a model construction for the elements of how movement into the place works. If Janie wasn’t honest with herself, she could not be honest in her telling. And if her telling wasn’t honest, the story wouldn’t have the effect it does to the reader. The most important part of Janie’s telling is the frame that Hurston gives it: an open-eared, open-hearted friend. The hate and blindness of the other townsfolk spotlight the already radiant kindness of Pheoby. She even points out the difference between herself and the others: “An envious heart makes a treacherous ear. They done ‘heard’ ’bout you just what they hope done happened” (Hurston 5). This truth governs storytelling. If a listener isn’t hearing what the speaker is saying right now because he has already made up his mind, or some other selfish reason, the story is doing nothing; it is like an unread book, dead and lifeless until a reader reads, until the text is attended. Pheoby serves as both a reason for Janie to tell her story and a hopeful reflection of or guide for the reader. It is as if Hurston is telling us, “Before this woman shares her story, you must love her, forget the rags she is wearing, and listen with every ounce of attention you have to every single word she utters.” Living stories rely on active listeners, those willing to attend the story, to let it live again—now, perpetually—in themselves.

James Weldon Johnson presents a real place in his The Autobiography of an Ex-Colored Man. It’s a space for the circled-around Negro Question to be thought about in truth. Johnson develops the space in story, and the story cannot be honest without all of its most dangerous and complicated parts, which are illumined by images and scenes from the nameless narrator’s tale: “He gives his story, and this story, with its gushing throat, its ‘eyes bulging from their sockets,’ its ‘mystery to the whites,’ and ‘the ivory whiteness of [his] skin,’ becomes his best answer—the only answer he knows—to the question of the Negro, even in all of its inconceivable complexity” (Sowers). Navigating both the white and black sides of the question provides a thread of honesty that strings the scenes in the novel together. Also, Johnson gives voice to opposers of equal right, lynchers, intellectual blacks, unintellectual blacks, hispanics, and the rich and poor. The Negro Question is approached from all sides and serves as a base for all of the action of the story to find itself.

Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury shares another side of the responsibility of the storytelling. In this text, for the story to be a bed for truth, it rests on perspective. The story occurs inside four different narratives that can only circle the truth, for Faulkner seems to agree with the notion that the truth cannot be spoken or held in words: “It began with the picture of the little girl’s muddy drawers, climbing that tree to look in the parlor window with her brothers that didn’t have the courage to climb the tree waiting to see what she saw. And I tried first to tell it with one brother, and that wasn’t enough. That was Section One. I tried with another brother and that wasn’t enough. That was Section Two. I tried the third brother, because Caddy was still to me too beautiful and too moving to reduce to telling what was going on, that it would be more passionate to see her through somebody else’s eyes, I thought. And that failed and I tried myself—the fourth section—to tell what happened, and I still failed” (Faulkner 234-235). There is much more to this quotation than the evident fact that language cannot hold life or, as Faulkner seems to assert, that tellings and retellings (limited to a number) cannot do their desired work. He said that even after the second telling, the image was still too much outside of the those tellings, that he had to tell more and again. His choosing of different perspectives is key—“to see her through somebody else’s eyes.” Faulkner is joining the other artists with his take on modern art. He’s trying to get a truth to his readers by allowing them to read the story from all sides. Painters around this time were trying to show different perspectives on one surface. It is a stretching of the medium. Imagine seeing a picture of the earth from space: all of the continents cannot be shown; there are imperative parts left out. Faulkner tries to circumvent this.

Both critics and Faulkner seem to agree that the real story in the novel is about Caddy, but she only speaks through others’ narratives. And there, her words and actions are framed and reflected by the perspective of the narrator. Ostensibly, the reader must receive the character and relation of the characters surrounding Caddy to receive Caddy. Faulkner’s choosing to speak from her brothers’ points-of-view is monumental because of their characters. The first is an idiot who confounds the past and present. The second is an eccentric, intelligent, neurotic obsessive, who has developed a harmfully incestuous desire for Caddy. The third is a misogynistic, selfish brat. And the fourth is a present-tense third-person narrator who speaks years after Caddy has left and the family refuses to speak her name. Because of the brothers’ memories and the present-tense narration, the text develops a full timeline of Caddy. But time and action are not the primary factors in the development of Caddy; that is left to how the character is seen, and that rests on these disparate perspectives. Faulkner’s quest to give the image most perfectly doesn’t stop with the four sectioned perspectives. Within the first two, because of the characters’ idiosyncracies, the text zooms into and travels through the minds of Benjy and Quentin. The shifts signify themselves with textual alterations (in the form of italics or punctuational differences). Both Benjy and Quentin interact with the past—and this past is built and depends on Caddy—in different ways based on their characters, allowing for associations between people, images, and events (Benjy), and also conversations that might be fictitious or wishfully stretched (Quentin).

The hoops through which Faulkner’s text forces the reader to jump becomes truth. Entry into the Compson world must come before entry into Caddy’s story. Faulkner initiates the reader into the world by starting with an errant, unconventional narrator (Benjy cannot even speak). Placing the reader there, in the middle of the bush, demands attention and awareness or else the story won’t develop. The story is there—it is always there—but it won’t spring forth without an open-eared, open-hearted reader. Faulkner understands this. To overcome his thought that mere words cannot hold truth but only maybe talk around it, he forces a conversation; the text forces a conversation between itself and its reader. And out of the conversation comes truth.

Edna Ferber said, “A closed mind is a dying mind.” This truth strings our initiatory tales together. The man in Wide Sargasso Sea serves as the antithesis of how one should approach newness and difference and truth. He is like the townsfolk who have already “heard” Janie’s story. Their minds are shut to a new story, which is detrimental to themselves firstly but then the surrounding peoples also. The Compson’s are not unlike this, with the mother’s unwillingness to accept a view of the world that isn’t her own. Benjy is the embodiment of the ill effects and cyclical dangers of an incest of ideas. When a solitary viewpoint constantly breeds itself by the constraints of “common sense” and power or authority, the final product will be close-minded and ill-fit for anything resembling progress. To keep with the same ideas, ignoring true seeing will produce an invalid—in the case of Benjy, a man-child who can do nothing but moan for a loss that he can’t even specify.

The man comes from the position of authority because he is from the land of the colonizing force. Before placing a foot on the land, he already understands these people to be under himself. Rhys forces the man’s close-mindedness on the reader with a reflective/reflexive accusation on Antoinette by the man: “She often questioned me about England and listened attentively to my answers, but I was certain that nothing I said made much difference. Her mind was already made up. Some romantic novel….Reality might disconcert her, bewilder her, hurt her, but it would not be reality….Her fixed ideas would never change” (Rhys 94). This all can be attributed to the man, but he cannot even see it. What little self-awareness it would take for him to see! The man cannot change if his ideas do not, and fear of the different, the other, wear him down. He says, “I fear that this place is my enemy and on your side” (Rhys 129). To regain a sense of power or authority in this place, he resorts to naming things what he likes (To get our bearings on a disconcerting place, it may be instinctive that we would do this. The bull-king from “Bregantino Bregantin” comes to mind. It is an easy, inward way to assert failing power.) The pushed image of him doing this is changing his wife’s name from the beautiful Antoinette to the hideous Bertha. “Bertha is not my name. You are trying to make me into something else, calling me by another name” (Rhys 147). Assuming power over just one person would make him comfortable in this feared place. The man takes Antoinette back to England, where she sets fire to the house and jumps to her death from a window. With its punishing end for the man—he is maimed and blinded in the fire—the arc of Wide Sargasso Sea can be seen as a moral tale from one angle: if one doesn’t try to see or use his eyes correctly, they will be taken from him.

The man rejects the place and fails, but Milkman’s story ends with a beautiful surrender. He is told stories about his history from his father and aunt, but they never do their work until he goes there, like Janie says. The stories he is told are riddled with half-truths, mixed-truths, untruths and truth because they are from singular perspectives. He must find the real truth of his history; he must go. Hearing the story in the place makes a difference for Milkman: “Milkman felt a glow listening to a story come from this man that he’d heard many times before but only half listened to. Or maybe it was being there in the place where it happened that made it seem so real” (Morrison 231). Morrison hits on both truths here. Milkman must attend the story, and he must also be in the space to experience it. His car breaks down. He finds that a car won’t get him to where he needs to go. A shedding happens when Milkman enters the place.

Entering into the place isn’t enough to get the story. Milkman goes and is met with troubles, a fight in Solomon’s General Store and a failed car. His shell of guarded, city habits must be busted. He doesn’t look at the men in the store; thinking that he already knows who they are by a generality or stereotype, he doesn’t attend these men. That gives him the fight. But he makes up and, to hunt with the men, enters a real bush, of blackness and mystery and something he’s never experienced. “If he was to grow accustomed to the dark, he would have to look at what it was possible to see” (Morrison 273). Milkman runs through the wood, a physical symbol of the thinking one must do. In the connection between the men and their hunting dogs, Milkman feels the connection of his people, ones who will claim him, and maybe all people. “It was all language. An extension of the click people made in their cheeks back home when they wanted a dog to follow them. No, it was not language; it was what there was before language. Before things were written down” (Morrison 278). And there connection to the place is strongly sensed by Milkman as well: “He found himself exhilarated by simply walking the earth. Walking it like he belonged on it; like his legs were stalks, tree trunks, a part of his body that extended down down down into the rock and soil” (Morrison 281). Milkman is intuiting a oneness across all things. There is a connection of all men in a deep history, and Milkman is sensing this by searching for his own unique history. The farther back one goes, he’d find a connection with every person he’s ever met, those he hates and those he loves. We are all one in a history, but Milkman finds pride in his recent history: the story of the slave who flew back to Africa after fathering all those kids. Because he’s told by Susan Byrd, “It’s a sad thing, Mr. Macon, when you’re left without any people to claim you,” another moment of unveiling and joy comes when Milkman finally hears that the kids are singing about his people (Morrison 291).

It seems easy: have a good, honest story and an attentive reader or listener. But why would anyone attend a story, volunteering a change in themselves? And just because we happened to read incredible books doesn’t mean that every book contains a true story. People are content today. The stories that are in books are left there because they take work and patience to unearth. Wrestling can be avoided because there are other things that dominate our time. It’s easy to say that what we need is attention and willingness to listen, but where does that come from? Milkman found it in a self-empowering story, but it’s hard to say whether or not pride was the reason for his excitement. I’m generally one to think that pride can do nothing but wrong. But Milkman had a familial pride that we preach and validate in America. Maybe that isn’t so bad? I think anyone can latch onto a story that empowers them in a history of which they are no doubt a part. Opening eyes is a tough thing. But maybe it isn’t the work of us, rather the work of the story.

As ? Lay Dying

What follows is an answer to the question, “What does the title As I Lay Dying mean for Faulkner’s novel?” The question of titles is fun and sometimes fruitful, so I ask myself. Knowing the novel isn’t imperative to join in the discussion, because ultimately, this essay is only about life and death. And we all have experiential knowledge of both, maybe.

Before the textual beginning of the narrative, Addie has already been dying for ten days (she may argue that she’s always been dying) in her bed. In those ten days before her death and the eight days after, what is the difference? The family is in her service while she’s in bed: Dewey Dell with the fan, Cash with the coffin. And when she’s on the journey to Jefferson, the family is still ostensibly focused on serving Addie’s wish of burial.

Furthermore, what is the difference between how the Bundren’s are “living” and what will become after they pass? There can be no death without life, and I am not sure that Darl or Addie would claim that the family is living. Of course, this calls into question the meaning of the word “life”–and the text, particularly Addie, is concerned with the worth of words. If nothing is being done, if there is no progress, isn’t the family just lying in wait, in a static condition that a physical death may not effect. All of the kids serve their family in various ways; they are insulated in a way similar to Mokketubbe. And Anse does what he can, peaking with maiming his oldest son, to constrain his family to his own desires.

If there is no progress in what you call life, is there a point of living? I think this question is a contributor to Darl’s madness. If life means only a changing of scenes that all produce pain, what’s the point? And if everyone you come into contact with can’t see through the insignificance of their actions, the triviality of their plans and words (like “love”) and the implacable human situation, how does one reconcile his own “life”?

Versus Text

Text is inclusive. It cannot be without a reader. This separates books from movies and forms of music to which we unceasingly listen. Movies and music are two of my favorite things, by the way.

But books and text altogether contain truer art, in the way I think of the thing right now. Also, paintings and other static visual art forms (architecture, photography, etc.) share with text the beauty of the participant.

I live by pressing “play.” Well…In reality, I don’t even press “play” anymore; I only must turn the players “on.” I turn my truck on, and the stereo starts playing music. I turn my television on, and a movie or show plays onscreen. And my attention wanes. It wavers. I look at other cars or the road while the music is ignored. I look at my phone or I write on the computer while this movie gets played. In its presentation, I (the listener; the viewer) am given the power to ignore, to absent the art.

Books disallow this. A reader must be active; if he isn’t, the text doesn’t exist. Sure, you can listlessly leaf through a book and find yourself at the end, even with a sense of accomplishment. But that text didn’t speak to you if you didn’t engage.

Reading makes you engage. It makes you attentive. (And you don’t have to look too far down the postings to see what the word “attend” means to me.)

You cannot open a book and halfway pay attention or let it lay open while you receive some here and there. Books don’t play. With audiobooks, this is now somewhat possible. But text is text, and it isn’t made to miss.

I is for Interface

This is a paper I wrote for an American Fiction class. In an easy way, I can display some current thoughts on fictions. The books referenced are The Road by Cormac McCarthy, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain, White Noise by Don Delillo & Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger.

******************************************************************************

You don’t know about you, without you have read a book by the name of…. You are a fiction that has all but lost its original sense—or trace—of self. Your fiction is your key to survival; the hero, the good guy, always wins. Dumbing yourself down to the third-person and denying awareness of self allows you to operate in this world of third-persons; you are everyone else, reduced to a few qualities. You act like a person. However, becoming aware of the fictive quality of this egotistical expanse you call life might kill you because you can’t reconcile the reality of death. So where do you go to find out who you are? You take stock in the narratives supplied by books and people you trust. If a narrative starts to fall apart, you look for a new one—anywhere but in. Everything you know has some sort of story, and stories can be reread; you think they never end. But what if you start taking what I, another blank space with black letters, am saying seriously? Isn’t that just succumbing to this narrative?

Living third-person is a constant act, a constant setting up of props. About Denise’s green visor, Murray says, “It’s her interface with the world” (White Noise 37). This is the literal representation of the things you do to live in this world—the fallacies that render that pronoun “I” you use to refer to yourself—Jack Gladney’s dark glasses and robe giving him the proper prestige for a professor. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn plays with this idea of acting as well. Mrs. Judith Loftus accuses Huck of doing a bad job enacting a young girl; she says, “You do a girl tolerable poor” (70). Also, Huck acts as a member of the culture with the infamous “No’m. Killed a nigger” (230). This is the same boy who just decided to do “wrong” and help Jim; he isn’t being himself. In the narrative, he must act within culture—to fool them. But just a little later Huck falls right back into the fold under the spell of Tom Sawyer, who is living his own fiction supplied by what is “in the books.” The mischief Sawyer invokes becomes his own little interface with which plays his part in his fictional world.

Living fictively demands that the story be kept alive; if it isn’t, you aren’t. The man in The Road constantly peddles this narrative of “the good guys” to the boy. They keep this narrative going while this destitute landscape surrounds them. The fiction keeps them alive. “Stories are supposed to be happy” (268). McCarthy forces the reader to see the arbitrary naming of things as good. It’s a meaningless title really, but the man depends on telling himself and his son the narrative to get through an unacceptable, real situation. Jack Gladney illustrates the same need to resuscitate a fiction, even attempting to appropriate a new fiction that might fit better as reality approaches him. Upon being exposed to Nyodene D, he’s told, “You are the sum total of your data. No man escapes that” (141). He then assumes he’s dying, and that becomes his new fiction. That becomes the thing that brings him prestige now, his near-deathness. “We kept inventing hope,” he narrates (147). And he does exactly that through the narrative; he must to stay alive. Once your life is a fiction, it must remain that way. You sentence yourself to living falsely, and as reality—in death—approaches, you will grasp for anything that can be reassembled into a fiction that means you’ll live. The good guys always win.

Understanding that you’re fake faults the entire world. You see everyone else in their fakery, and you will hate it; ask Franny. She can’t stand the way people are living their little fake worlds, making everything about them. And the worse thing is that she sees that same faculty inside herself, blaming her ego. Zooey laments this: “’God damn it,’ he said, ‘there are nice things in the world—and I mean nice things. We’re all such morons to get so sidetracked. Always, always, always referring every goddam thing that happens right back to our lousy little egos’” (152).

Understanding this fictive nature of man won’t help discerning yourself. That’s the last, unfortunate truth. Not even Zooey was exempt. Directly following the above passage, the next page accuses his hesitations as specious, “the way the other children on the program did” (153). Zooey cannot even make sense of himself—neither could Seymour. “For all I know, I may be a little jealous” (159). Zooey couldn’t tell what he was feeling. Maybe it takes practice, or maybe it is unknowable. Either way, it takes something more than understanding the secret. You will tell yourself a lie to get through life. You’re killing yourself, and you can’t help it. If you think you’re outside of this quality, you’re doing it again—thinking you’re somehow better than the others. There is no winning here. You are a lie. “There is no God and we are his prophets.”

Reading Women

At the impetus of my girlfiend–she bought me the books–I read the stories of two women that opened my eyes. Both books are considered Modern Classics, moreover Modern American Classics. In April, I read Kate Chopin’s The Awakening and Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter for the first time. And through this, I met Edna Pontellier and Hester Prynne respectively.

The books were different, but they were the same. But maybe this could be blamed on the temporal proximity in which I read them. Whatever the case, they were each rewarding and deserving of my interest. Where TSC possesses a plot that will pull the reader in because it delivers a mystery that demands an answer, TA moved with the character of Mrs. Pontellier.

Edna Pontellier lived in Lousiana in the late 19th century, and Hester Prynne lived in Boston in the 17th century. But both women faced the same problems; neither could claim freedom at the beginning of their stories. In Pontellier, we see the critique of the institution of marriage, and in Prynne, we see the critique of the institution of religion. Perhaps these are the most powerful social institutions still today?

As I discussed with a friend of mine last week, I believe Hester Prynne’s story would greatly serve a group of believers who were willing to study it. The main themes in it are the main themes of my faith–simply, guilt and grace. To dovetail this point, I don’t know what could be more exciting than a book club. I wrote a paper on book reviews this semester that continued with thoughts on how reading promotes community. Is literature performing its function if it only lives when a book is open? Of course not. I want to read, and I want to read together.

In the same way, I would recommend Chopin’s story of Edna Pontellier to every married man supremely. But of course, every woman could enjoy it, and any reader should. Not only does the reader learn about the inequality of American marriage at this time but also where joy and life is found here on Earth.

From these two women, I moved to Brandy Alexander… Being a creation of Chuck Palahniuk, s/he certainly couldn’t share this space with Hester and Edna.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.